happytown

I saw a man asleep in poop outside today. I wanted to sleep outside in poop too. I did. Twice. Poop, I mean.

I just touched my knuckles against the inside of my other hand. They felt bumpy.

You know what my worst fear is? That one day, I'll have to choose between saving two people's lives. I'd feel so sorry for the person I didn't save! Sometimes when I can't sleep, I imagine how it would happen. I see the two kids playing in the park, a boy and a girl. They never look the same, because I love everybody. And then some psychopath comes in (mental illness is not your fault! mental illness is not your fault! mental illness is not your fault!) and raises a knife towards one of the kids, while the ground starts to crack and open beneath the other and threathens to engulf him or her! I only have time to save one. Sometimes I shoot the psychopath, but then the other disappears forever in that crack in the earth, and I feel so bad. Sometimes I grab that kid before he/she can fall, but then the other kid gets his/her throat slit before I can shoot the mentally insane person, and I don't feel any better! It's like there's just no solution, no way to make it all right.

And sometimes... sometimes, I just let them both die. And I feel pretty good.

I saw my neighbor in her house last night. She didn't know it though. No, silly, I wasn't invisible; that's just the magic of crouching real low and peeking out your window! Through the blinds. At night. With the lights off.

Oh you guys. I'm just joshing ya! Yipidee dooo! I can barely see her naughty parts. Can't wait for choir rehersal tonight so I can sing, sing, SING!

I have secretly joined the choir. If anyone asks me if I joined my church choir I will pretend I have no idea what they're talking about.

I love to sing. It's very personal. If I sing loud enough it quiets the voices in my head.

Yesterday I tried to help an old woman cross the street, but she pushed me away! Why do people insist on making it so difficult for me to help them? I just want to make everyone as happy as I am, and they won't let me! Well one day I won't be so happy anymore, and those people will regret that they treated me that way! I'm an NRA member!

But enough of all this bad stuff.

I saw a squirrel on a tree today, it was the cutest thing!

PS. Koala bears are cute too! I would totally adopt one!

Someone emailed me a link to this funny button. It says do not press. So I didn't. Yipidee Skipidee Hipidee Dooo!




Sometimes I think about murder.

I love being alive!
It's the funnest thing!
Come on, gimme five!
Then we can dance and sing!!!

Oh man! Poems are like gold you can eat. I love you and I love eating poems! KAZOWWWW!!!!

Better luck next time, blog-o-world. The answer to yesterday's riddle was "SMILE!" It's also the answer to everything! WOWIE ZIPPIE ZIDEEE!

Smiling

Makes

It

Lovely

Eveywhere!

If you use the first letter of each word it spells something. See if you can guess what it spells in the comment box. I'll post the answer tomorrow... Meanwhile, I LOVE YOU!!!

Have you ever noticed how when it is raining that some people are grumpy? I don't get grumpy, you want to know why? Because rainy days are my special Silver Days. I have a whole list of things to do on silver days like..

1. Write I love you notes to people in my life who need an extra hug
2. Snuggle up to The Good Book
3. Go home and pop in a musical on my DVD player, turn the subtitles to Spanish and sing along in a new language.

I love silver days just as much as gold sunny days. They are wonderfully different!

You know what I hate!?! Nothing.

And that's why I love my friends. Because a good friend can be everything to you. Everything and nothing. Nice. YIPPEEEE!!!

The nicest people say cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Well happiness must be right next to Godliness too, but on the other side being respectful of personal space.

Sometimes I hope everyone in the whole wide world is as happy as I am. If I had a million-billion-gazillion dollars, I would buy everyone a sign that says "look at me, I'm happy." That way if I saw someone that wasn't holding up their sign, I could go up to them and tell them jokes and tickle them until they were smiling and overcome with happiness and right next to Godliness, with cleanliness on the other side, standing together and hugging like one happy family. YIPPIDEE SKIPPIDEE ROOOOOO!

Socks are great. Think about it. They keep your feet all warm and dry and cozy. Plus, if you buy them long enough, they make friends with your knees. And that's why socks are my kinda people. Because they wouldn’t hurt a fly and I wouldn't either. I bet flies wish they could wear socks. Maybe they do!

Wowie kazowie, guess who I love...? YOU! THAT'S WHO!

Isn't it great that people of all nations and creeds can get along and be friends? No matter what color or race or nationality you are, you can always be at the same place at the same time. No matter what time it is! Even wearing the same things!
People, places and things! All nouns! Put that in your hat and smoke it!
I love you!!!

What rhymes with rhyme?
Time, mime.
I love mimes.
They've disappeared over time.
But I can still see them in my imagination.
I LOVE YOU!!!!

Holidays are about family and friends and secret Santa at work with people I love as much as my own family, because dernnit! They are my family! My work family. In a way I have two families, my work family and my relatives whom I do not work with. But I don't even seem to notice where one ends and the other begins. The holidays to me are like getting a group hug from both families for weeks at a time until a whole NEW year pops out with it's very own number.

Does it get better than that? I don't see how! I LOVE YOU!!!!

I spent this whole month sending hugs around the world to everyone in the phonebook and everyone they knew. I hope you got yours because trust me, you were on my list! I LOVE you!!!!

When I was small I had a friend whom I discovered did not have all his fingers. I didn't know until one day I saw he only had nine little Indians. I was worried because I knew that once Thanksgiving time rolled around we were going to trace our hands and make finger turkey pictures. Luckily, he was a vegetarian and had never seen a turkey in his entire life. That's when I knew he was the luckiest friend in the world! Mmmmmm. I LOVE YOU!

When I think about music and how neat notes sound all mushed together like that I want to cry. Sometimes I excuse myself by saying I'm going to the bathroom and then I lock myself in a stall and cry! But they are only tears of joy so I'm not really sad.

I LOVE YOU, NOTES! STAY BEST FRIENDS WITH OTHER NOTES FOREVER!

I heard a commercial jingle that went like this:

"Phone Town! Phone Town! Leave off the last 'E' for saaaaaaaavings!!! BRRRRRRRRR-RING! PHONE TOWN!!!"

I don't know what made me think of that! I love you!!!

I changed the color of the whole site to Happy Pink! If I could I would paint the whole world and all the people in it the color of joy and bubblegum... Down with blue! UP with Happy! WOWIE KAZOWIE! I LOVE YOU!!!

The best things in life are free. But you don't always get what you pay for. Think about it. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Guess what day today is? Take a guess... Yup, you guessed it. It's a Happy day! Now guess what day tomorrow is gonna be...?

I saw the black woman from Touched By An Angel on the street today. I tapped her on the arm and when she turned around I realized it wasn't her. But sure seemed like her for a minute.
WOWIE KAZOWIE!!!!

I was working hard a second ago and I thought of that great song "Whistle While You Work." So I started to whistle it but then I realized that might be a leeeeeeeeeetle impolite to people around me who are trying to think of other songs in their own heads. Aren't heads and songs amazing? Anyway I just pursed my lips together and blew air but absolutely no sound out of my mouth out of love for the people around me.
It was silent but friendly. And then I hugged a stranger.
WHOOOPIDITY MOOPIDIEEEE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

I looked down at my shirt and saw there was a tiny piece of lint on it. I once heard that there could be a whole universe living in a piece of lint with microscopic people living their tiny lives just like you and me. And I thought to myself, I hope I didn't disturb any microscopic body! And then I kissed the lint and set it down on a flower in the hopes that the tiny people, if they exist, would have a pretty smelling day.
This happened mind you, before work because I would never take that time out of the time during which I'm being paid to focus on my job. That's not what I'm about AT ALL.
Wowie Kazowie! I love YOU!

You know what goes well with food? A beverage. You know what else? A napkin! Look at them together. They look like a sculpture that tells a story. A story about best friends! Best friends forever! BFF!!!!!!!
I love you, best friends!! Be inside me right now!!

I think I'm going to do something right now. See if you can guess what it is...
Did you feel it? I'm going to do it again every hour today.



(P.S. I was sending you a hug! Were you able to guess it?)

I thought of this poem during a quick break I took in my mind just now:

"Nice! Good!
Eat Food!
Don't be rude!
Great Attitude!
Lady! Dude!
In a Good Mood!
Race, Religion, People Sued?
WHOOPIE DOOOPIE DIPPITY DEWD!"

WOWIE KAZOWIE! I love you!